Banana Chips Love Story

It's been months of whirlwind feelings, lack of trust, losing friends-them moving forward and me staying behind, blending with new people and trying to find where i belong kind of ber-months.  It seems that there has been some days when i feel like the momentum crashes down my face like how the wind blows, some days are like gah. like nothing is new, like every single day is just a reply of how it used to be. Every single day for the past months, i honestly tried to pave the way for my feelings to pour, but nothing seems to go right, yes there are things that i did right (because that is what we are suppose to do), but there are still things i hope for but of course i didn't get. Sometimes i feel like something is holding me back to reach whatever place I'm suppose to be, there are opportunities that i feel like, dude that belongs to me! but its still isn't mine, i guess my moment hasn't really come. The feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of belonging or mindin

How can we be the same thing in my head, when we do things all over again... all over again i said, the sound of my tears crawling upon the depths of my duvet, yes, all over again, how this undistinguished issue was never resolved. yes all over again, how can we put everything at ease when at the end of the day its you and i that decreased, yes all over again, when every single time i try to try do things as it was yesterday, as it was the day before you and i begun collapsing into nothing, yes all over again, when the words of i love yous are just words, when i care for you are just sentences, yes all over again, when the shadows of our issues collide. yes all over again, my pupils dilate as the stars in my head vanishes into nothingness, yes all over again, you tried but never really did, you asked but never really listened, yes all over again. Yes, all over again. I spoke to you as if it was the very first and last day of you and i, Yes, all over again, we tried alot of times

S o recently my an old high school classmate just messaged me to become one of his daughter's god mother, yes you heard me right! i totally don't know why he chose me because i don't think I'm that mature and stable enough to be a fairy god mother! que horror! i even use my debit card to buy mi some lattes at Starbucks! or the fact that i still buy 1 liter of water for my condo's fridge just because I'm too lazy to order the big things! that kind of irresponsible! anyways the point of my entry is not even related to the title! its just that i seldom think that this day would come and that my high school batch mates would have that fathers and mothers classification kind of thing seeing that the dive is too early!  Anyways another unrelated fact to this issue is that, i don't think I'm ready to face my batch mates! GAWD DAMN IT! i haven't really lose weight and i still haven't figure out the dress or garb i should wear! i was totally not e

“ it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when you grow up, troubling to find that you simply don’t remember when you stopped acting like a child and became an adult, your head no longer filled with naive dreams and whimsical hopes for the future. suddenly, you’re twenty three and half the year is spent for hours away from a home with people who aren’t your family, struggling through another few years of trying to beat the system and get the best out of it, and the other half is spent wondering when your family became strangers to you; their faces familiar but changing all the time, home never quite the same whenever you return after three months away. suddenly, you’re twenty three yet still waiting for your break, and you’re never going to be a ballet dancer or a fire fighter or a popstar with ten world tours. you’re twenty three and, in the space of a few minutes, you realise that some days you'll feel that you’re stucked in a dead end job that you might hate with all your h

I was never an introvert by choice. I guess my repeated failures in human inter action, failing to meet socially acceptable standards was also not a choice. The fact of being in a circle without really being IN the circle was never the less unfathomable by the hands of reality by which we all live in. Sometimes extroverts like me also has another side of its cheek, its not as if my face has a sign that says "SHE is an extrovert. She always laughs when needed (seldom not needed, but still), says Joke when appropriate, and even curses when she feels like it. She is an extrovert, binded by the surface in which her soul belongs too, that when you are a big person you must always be the laughing stock or you must always be a clown or that she wont feel the half truth in every joke you said. Yes She is an extrovert. Funny. But still complicated." yes i guess that’s the sign all people i know see in me, but deep within my angst and humour i guess the (quote)" intelligent

Beneath my Feet's View by BananaChipsLoveStory's N It never ceases to amaze me what the layers of this world holds, deeper beauty lies behind every crack in the pavement. Below the murmur of a crowd, a symphony. A smile from an elderly woman at the bus stop is more than mismatched teeth and wrinkled skin, it is more beautiful than the Mona Lisa herself (Perhaps that is why she grins so knowingly?) All we have to do is Stop. Close our eyes and our preconceptions of the mundane mask of our surrounds, listen to the laugh. To the chirp. To the wind as it teases the branches of a tree that has seen more than any of us care to have noticed. The way the light plays against a discarded tin can as it rolls down the gutter has more elegance than the brightest rainbow, these arcs of mist-bent light are far too showy and arrogant. The tin can’s glitter is fragile and fleeting, better to witness it’s rarity and marvel at the man made dancing with nature Behold the

“I have two shadows, and one of them is my companion. It follows me to remind me that I walk in the light. Then there is the other, that lies next to me at night. It likes whispering in my ear, stirring my insecurities, tainting my dreams. It is there to remind me that I sleep in darkness.” BananaXthecollectiveXthanksFrenzFriesXperfectPlatitude

Living alone. When you live alone long enough, alone is no longer synonymous with lonely. After a while, you fill up a space. With your voice. With your scent. With your music. With your stuff. With everything you thought you own <and im for sure it could fit into a box>. You learn to sleep like a troubled wire, or spooning your books and your laptop.You have no qualms about drip drying your bras over the shower rod or drinking the entire pot of coffee in the middle of the night.You stop cooking for one and just cook whatever or whenever you want. Or you don’t. Sometimes you eat peanut butter out of the jar and drink orange juice from the bottle, and call it dinner. Some Saturday mornings, you’ll wake up early in the morning and sleep again <just because you can> and read six chapters in a book before even brushing your teeth. You’ll leave your shoes at the front door, your hair in the bathroom sink, and a weeks worth of mail on the kitchen counter and no one will giv

  2013 has been a good year for me, with the year that was, I experienced a lot of hurdles and downfalls, from failing to standing up, from the rocky stage of every girl’s relationship to falling out of love with my passion, my work…and now that I’m looking back at what happened in my life, I am more than thankful for all the blessings and the problems that I have encountered, 2013 wasn’t as bad as it looks like for me, 2013, was the year I failed exams, but passed a ones in a lifetime opportunity of entering graduate school, that year also taught me to live and love myself more, to embrace who I am, what I look like, and what people perceived me to be… 2013 was definitely a roller coaster ride, a chaos of rainbows that made things fell in its right places and wake up in its proper timing, it also made me experienced a lot of untold realities of life, of letting people go and of meeting new souls that definitely made me a better person. Now that the year has already concluded its