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I don't feel anymore

I have long been chasing days into nights trying to make myself believe that there are still things in store for me... But how do i defy the mess i have done in my life... When all i ever want was to go back and take back the years i have wasted, How do i take everything away, when all that is left are the thoughts of negativity flowing in every space of the room i am in, how do i even know where to start, where to begin, who to talk to... How do i take it all away... Coz i dont feel anymore... Nothing. B.
Recent posts

Unsaid Thoughts

This is past few months has been quite challenging for me, my personal life is infact, a whirlwind in the literal sense, there's the moments of me almost giving up my job, for i dont feel very much compensated, i mean, dont get me wrong, i love the job i am in, it doesnt pay well but the experiences and the fact that though i am young, and i am able to handle different projects (several in fact) that young ones cannot chance upon, i love my job, the people i work with and my ever resilient, very powerful woman boss that i have. But as a millenial, there are moments when you even think if you even want to continue what you are doing, there are the quarter life crisis moments lingering at the back of your head, whispering fuck up thoughts telling you to quit and  move on, to a greener pasture perhaps? or maybe a job that will tell you that you are worth it and that you are important. You know, a girl gotta have her spare coins to waste, but in my case, i dont have any, i have bee

3 Things i realised after watching "The Intern"

Have you ever felt something within you while watching a movie? well for me, i always do. So just 5 minutes ago, i just finished watching Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro in their 2015 movie "The Intern", and it turns out that it is a flick full of inspiration stuck within its plot.  So Here are the 3 Things i realised after watching "The Intern" 1. Remember to Breathe and never forget to take it all in one step at a time. As a newbie in my field, i have always been told that working in that agency is never a "walk in the park", and since i was definitely being told to act as a pro-bee and take what our boss gives, i always assumed that the more work i get or the more projects assigned to me - the better. But what i truly realised is that taking on a lot of things on my plate without even asking myself if i can handle it alone is truly bad. There are probably lots of times, in which i ask myself 2 same exact question every time i am exhausted: 1

#Thoughts

There are 2 things in life i cannot control, my mouth and how i feel.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff:Jan 16' #ReadingStash

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Omnibus Special Edition (Don't Sweat the Small Stuffs,  DSTSS at Work and  DSTSS about Money) After a boring day at the pad, i met up with my best friend (call her halfsies) over our traditional coffee and junk food session- which takes about 2-4 hours max, i was very glad she was back in the city coz i truly missed her. Anyway, after our our session we randomly decided to go the bookstore near my place to check out books - we never really planned to buy anything but lo and behold one book literally shined - and this is the book by Richard Carlson "Dont Sweat the Small Stuff", so i decided to buy it. Within an hour of reading the book, i was already feeling the aura of changing stuffs in my life, can you believe it that within an hour i was so damned into the book that i read 100 pages of it. God it so good. So i'll just leave it her, just so if anyone of you wants to ask me what book should you read to start the year right, i

2015: Here's to the craziest year yet

2015 has been one hell of a crazy year for me, it has been a year of exploration, a year of pushing myself to try different things, of being my own true self without any self doubt and most especially, of me loving the value of traveling and going to places i have always dreamt of. My Family, My Best Friend and Lover I have been very grateful of all the under takings and short comings that i have experienced during the year that was, but i am more than thankful for the love and unending support of my family that really have pushed me to never be afraid of trying to do and achieved things that i am meant for. My family has always been my rock, i know that because of my hectic life due to my work, my dad often feels like i don't make time for them anymore, but God truly have blessed me with understanding parents that supports me financially and emotionally to help me go to to places i want - provided that i explore, experience and embody the places, the people and most espec

NOTE TO SELF #2016

Turn the night lights off. The things that scare you do not live in the dark. Wear the moonshine on your hipbones, do not let lovers get drunk off you unless they speak tsunamis, too. You will learn this the hard way; you became condensation when you were meant to be thunder. Now you are sky. Your heart is not a bomb. Plant it wisely, utilised what you do and don’t know if its beat, do not settle for the bruise of tribal music you are not passionate about. There are drums in your ribs for a reason. If you must, take them out yourself and be your own rhythm. Remember to put them back in after. Or don’t. You know the romance of one-way tickets well. Leave yourself where yourself wishes to be left, do not over think. Leave room in your wrists for the things you can’t take with you. There will be plenty, trust me. If you leave empty handed, make sure your knees are dirty. The earth made you its child for a reason and every city’s soil grows new seeds in your spine. O