Banana Chips Love Story

DO you know the feeling of having someone new in your life and you just arent sure if you want them in it... gosh.. this past 2 days have been a whirlwind of all kinds.....i really tried to be not emotionally attach to anybody... but it seems that sometimes my bipolar heart and mind doesnt even cooperate with each other... my heart says i like this person, but my mind says..hold on to yourself little girl... sometimes my heart says, yeahh thats it..thats the spirit maybe one day you'll wake up and receive a text message saying i love you...but yeah crap that out... gosh i so dont know what to do...my heart has been torn into pieces many times, that even promises are not enough to mend it... last tuesday someone told me that he loves me, and that he promise me that he wont even hurt me, that one day he will prove to me and to his family that we are worth it...that if he'll hurt me it'll be his lost not mine...i mean what the fuck right...i was almost too stupid to b...

Get up for today: tight gym pants, purple no sweat v necks...just another boring outfit for the gym... Setting: coffee shop MOOD: lonely..just lonely.... Here i am weeping my ass off at an ordinary coffee shop at the mall, sipping a strange kind of caramel machiatto that the waitress with boy scout shorts concocted, just waiting... just waiting for someone i dont even know i exist...so first of all my name is_______.... just call me N a fresh college grad from a university where archers are ablaze..haha..so yeah i just graduated and now i am currently living the life of a gypsy, someone with plans but no plans kinda path type of girl... just to keep it simply...im BUM...just BUM. Firs of all i want to make a disclaimer... the title of my blog right now is "Banana chips love story" ...but it doesnt mean that all i am going to write is about my love story which is kinda a ZERO right now...my status have been kinda that shitty recently... right now im in between boys...or so ...

another sleepless night wasted by thinking about him... ..why is it so hard loving someone who don't even know you care, its like as if your wasting time to build a tower of bubbles that you know yourself that you don't have a chance to build one... if he only knew how i care about him and how i am very much willing to make him happy... if he only knew how i long for him to notice me, not as a younger sister but someone special... someone who will ask him how he is doing or someone who will make him realized that there is more to life than heartbreaks and loneliness, that at the end of the day there is someone like me who is willing to heal his stagnant heart... i hope you'll be able to read this one day....coz i want to say many things... i want you to know that i long for the day when ill be able to hold our hands, i long for the day that you will look upon me and comfort me during my tiring days and kiss me in the forehead with your cute tiny lips... i long fo...

Last week I've been too preoccupied enough with the global summit that the office I'm in ...are now organizing...though it has been one hell week of stress and busyness, i can only say one thing and that is i enjoyed it, not because i was very much helpful to the team but, its because i got close with Mr.G...yes i got close with my secret baby love crush...hahaha... i started getting to know him that well, and if it is really a feeling of me liking him or just a fore thought of being appreciative and admiring someone responsible, but that the end of the day i notice that what i feel is that i like him like him... right now it has a been a week or so of asking myself if i like him, for i just realized that this crush i have on him will just forever a "crush"... for at the end of the day i know that he won't be able to like me...why? 1.im way too young for him (which i really don't mind..) 2.im way too noisy/outgoing... 3.he treats me like a little sister :...