how do you heal a broken heart? afraid of loving again.

DO you know the feeling of having someone new in your life and you just arent sure if you want them in it...
gosh..

this past 2 days have been a whirlwind of all kinds.....i really tried to be not emotionally attach to anybody...
but it seems that sometimes my bipolar heart and mind doesnt even cooperate with each other...
my heart says i like this person, but my mind says..hold on to yourself little girl...
sometimes my heart says, yeahh thats it..thats the spirit maybe one day you'll wake up and receive a text message saying i love you...but yeah crap that out...
gosh i so dont know what to do...my heart has been torn into pieces many times,
that even promises are not enough to mend it...
last tuesday someone told me that he loves me, and that he promise me that he wont even hurt me, that one day he will prove to me and to his family that we are worth it...that if he'll hurt me it'll be his lost not mine...i mean what the fuck right...i was almost too stupid to believe it...and i was even falling for him at that moment but my stubborn mind collapse with ease saying..oh stop saying to me that crap...thats bullshit...

i know that somehow you can relate to this, having that same feeling of loving someone but not quite because my then complete heart was torned by some bastard...
i mean how can i completely like someone new in my life when in the long run all my mind says is, you need to be reserved and be careful for maybe... you will break your heart AGAIN!...grbe...what do you call this in FILIPINO? ahh, duwag magmahal (afraid to love..)

i mean at the end of the day my heart wants to love someone who will be there no matter what happen, but at the back of my mind your thinking, stop this crap focus on work and you career,, but what really hinders me is the fact that im not yet to strong to be broken again...

so what do you do to heal your broken heart? because mine isnt healed yet, its like twas damaged too many times that it doesn't even believe in promises...

Comments

Unsaid Thoughts

This is past few months has been quite challenging for me, my personal life is infact, a whirlwind in the literal sense, there's the moments of me almost giving up my job, for i dont feel very much compensated, i mean, dont get me wrong, i love the job i am in, it doesnt pay well but the experiences and the fact that though i am young, and i am able to handle different projects (several in fact) that young ones cannot chance upon, i love my job, the people i work with and my ever resilient, very powerful woman boss that i have. But as a millenial, there are moments when you even think if you even want to continue what you are doing, there are the quarter life crisis moments lingering at the back of your head, whispering fuck up thoughts telling you to quit and move on, to a greener pasture perhaps? or maybe a job that will tell you that you are worth it and that you are important. You know, a girl gotta have her spare coins to waste, but in my case, i dont have any, i have bee...

The enforceable truth of a succumbing bastard

well, lemme see… a few days ago i have encountered an online bullying experience of my own, care of by a cum sucking dick face indian, yeah sorry if i said that in a very wrong tone (no racism intended..i love indian people except him), but yeah im so pissed off right now…i cant seem to erase the fact that a super arrogant two face bitch who tweeted me and ask me a favor to get a brain can go to hell now…well who the hell is he in the first place...he said not so good things about me, which is obviously in a very hating tone ..well i forgive maybe him... it is his lack of sex, love life and social life that unforeseeably lead him to be hater of sorts, which only made him feel very superior to all people around him..i just dont like the way he talks to people and all he does is contradict every argument or rants they have, how dare he be like that when in the first place he is not from here, he should have been more leaner to us who are native ...

3 Things i realised after watching "The Intern"

Have you ever felt something within you while watching a movie? well for me, i always do. So just 5 minutes ago, i just finished watching Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro in their 2015 movie "The Intern", and it turns out that it is a flick full of inspiration stuck within its plot. So Here are the 3 Things i realised after watching "The Intern" 1. Remember to Breathe and never forget to take it all in one step at a time. As a newbie in my field, i have always been told that working in that agency is never a "walk in the park", and since i was definitely being told to act as a pro-bee and take what our boss gives, i always assumed that the more work i get or the more projects assigned to me - the better. But what i truly realised is that taking on a lot of things on my plate without even asking myself if i can handle it alone is truly bad. There are probably lots of times, in which i ask myself 2 same exact question every time i am exhausted: 1...

Banana Chips Love Story

Search This Blog