Recently the tables have been turned a little far away from
me and i may have loved it this way but deep inside i was always aiming and
craving for the extra pressure of smuggling a cookie out of the forbidden cookie
jar, personally i would guess that nobody would understand this post, but my neutral
status in life have not been permitting me to go into my usual slumber… every
single night I lay in my bed, I always ask myself, are you happy? Emotionally I
guess I am, physically (nah) this questions has been answered a million times
over right now, relationship wise I guess I am, or I know we are getting there
every now and then, but mentally? Hmmm I guess my mind and my skills have been
stored in a shelf for too long right now…but sometimes there is a part of my
brain wherein I'm supposed to execute potentials that I myself don’t know exist hasn’t
been tapped since… a million years ago. I guess you can say that my path has
been on a steady phase, the rough journey and wonderful dangers of accomplishment
and learning have long been eased in my life… I don’t know, is the problem me? Was
it because people have been too complaisant, and me acting as an open book to everybody
(or so they know) have taken its toll to my superiors, that a simple task would
seem to feel inappropriate for me to be assigned into…as Simon Wilder in The
Honors said, “Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run.”, Maybe I’m
a little bit of a loser right now, because I simply don’t run or if I do, its
always the same old story for me, that I'm too kind or just too shy to exhaust
and that I don’t want to simple run over other people because I don’t wanna look
like a know it all sh*t head… I guess I have to run again, take a leap and get
out of my comfort zone, maybe staying into the same parking space hasn’t really
do me any good, if I'm an Optimist, maybe ill say to myself that… hey its okay,
you’re still learning, maybe your break is not right now, it'll eventually come
to you and at the end of the day they’ll tell you N, you are worth it, and you
deserve that project… but if I'm a pessimist my mind would totally whisper me
this kind of thoughts “hmmm, aren’t you tired yet? You’ve been living under the
shadows of a lot of people, your generation has long been way up there, and you
little girl have been stuck right where you started… haven’t you thought of installing
some wings, break free little b*tch, people don’t need you anymore… you’re
simply some lad who stayed for a while, but never left a trace… but to me that real question is… When and Where?Recently the tables have been turned a little far away from
me and i may have loved it this way but deep inside i was always aiming and
craving for the extra pressure of smuggling a cookie out of the forbidden cookie
jar, personally i would guess that nobody would understand this post, but my neutral
status in life have not been permitting me to go into my usual slumber… every
single night I lay in my bed, I always ask myself, are you happy? Emotionally I
guess I am, physically (nah) this questions has been answered a million times
over right now, relationship wise I guess I am, or I know we are getting there
every now and then, but mentally? Hmmm I guess my mind and my skills have been
stored in a shelf for too long right now…but sometimes there is a part of my
brain wherein I'm supposed to execute potentials that I myself don’t know exist hasn’t
been tapped since… a million years ago. I guess you can say that my path has
been on a steady phase, the rough journey and wonderful dangers of accomplishment
and learning have long been eased in my life… I don’t know, is the problem me? Was
it because people have been too complaisant, and me acting as an open book to everybody
(or so they know) have taken its toll to my superiors, that a simple task would
seem to feel inappropriate for me to be assigned into…as Simon Wilder in The
Honors said, “Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run.”, Maybe I’m
a little bit of a loser right now, because I simply don’t run or if I do, its
always the same old story for me, that I'm too kind or just too shy to exhaust
and that I don’t want to simple run over other people because I don’t wanna look
like a know it all sh*t head… I guess I have to run again, take a leap and get
out of my comfort zone, maybe staying into the same parking space hasn’t really
do me any good, if I'm an Optimist, maybe ill say to myself that… hey its okay,
you’re still learning, maybe your break is not right now, it'll eventually come
to you and at the end of the day they’ll tell you N, you are worth it, and you
deserve that project… but if I'm a pessimist my mind would totally whisper me
this kind of thoughts “hmmm, aren’t you tired yet? You’ve been living under the
shadows of a lot of people, your generation has long been way up there, and you
little girl have been stuck right where you started… haven’t you thought of installing
some wings, break free little b*tch, people don’t need you anymore… you’re
simply some lad who stayed for a while, but never left a trace… but to me that real question is… When and Where?
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