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UNLEARN: to my one and only orange juice


 UNLEARN


"now it has been a year since i broke up with you..and i know in my heart i still haven't move on…coz it hurts me that i must unlearn you..pretend that you were just a glimpse of me, that until now our memories have still been hunting me to sleep,  i haven't move on…the night i first saw you, did you know that i sprayed a bottle of my perfume on me and in my place so that you wont ever forget my scent…god only knows how much i hurt  when you never went back to me, i know its stupid of me to never let go of our memories, but until now i haven't found someone to replace of you in my heart, Now i understand why you flooded my playlist with moving on songs like “over it” but its all good…thank you very much for helping me transcend to be more than a girl but a woman..a woman for i never grew restless of the reality than in life…we fall in love…We enjoy the feeling..we hurt..break up…and say goodbye….and eventually..move on…
Now i deleted our memories as if it never happened… But you will forever remain in me for all my life… Though forever is not true. Maybe someday it'll be… Not with you.. But with someone else."


i wrote this excerpts when i was sitting in our buildings fire exit thinking about you when i accidentally saw a pint of rocky road ice cream and a box of OJs, you are my one and only orange juice lover, the guy that taught me on how to eat ice cream in the middle of the night while snuggling under covers because its ranging outside, you are the guy that always doesn't want to hold hands with me coz you find it so common..instead you just held your arms unto me and let me cling unto it..you are the guy who taught me on how to love recreational dates that always includes going to the arcade and wasting 500 bucks just to play zombie gun games with me, that always ends up me being killed, but you were there beside me feeling like a super hero saving me from all the assassin zombies in left for dead…you are the guy who always says thank you to me overtime you leave my pad, the guy who never fails to kiss me before i go to sleep, you are the guy who never fails to make laugh every time we make stupid funny phone calls overnight just for you and i to end up hearing each others snore while sleeping with our phones still on call..you are the guys that always go t shirt shopping with me and ends up buying the funniest double meaning ones…you are the guy that made me watch creepy yet boring films that even you cant understand just for us to have the excuse of cuddling up in bed while you hug me while sleeping and never fails to whisper me "concentrate and focus on the movie…"…you are the guy who introduced me to video games, to long nights of jam legend level up moments, of multiple nights of us not sleeping just for you to teach me how to play tennis in our psp directly connected in out lcd, oh how i miss you devil-ish smile, your small kisses that never fails me to be amuse, i miss your sensitive gums and how you always tell me to be gentle while brushing my own teeth… i could go on all day describing how much i am thankful to you…for you taught me how to be me..for you never gave closure, we loved each other while it was worthwhile but it seems that destiny never really placed you unto my arms..and maybe you were really not meant for me.

i loved you…and i will always do.
you'll forever be my one and only orange juice.

And now ill just forgot you as if u never happened…

(the author is merely ranting her feelings about her first ex-boyfriend who she doesn't have any closure with)

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