Now that im turning 21 in 24 hours, its seems that the maturity train have really struck me point shoot, last night we celebrated an advance intimate birthday celebration with my office mates, seeing that we celebrated it in a very intimate restaurant with winner ambiance and good food i was feeling okay, but not happy, its as if my life will now turn as if nothing ever happened, as if there was nothing new in my life, that the wind of time have just passed me by while walking into a cold park...
As i was slowing walking the stone concrete road floors of Burgos circle in the fort, the warm wind slapped me with reality, as if the moment was saying hey you're now really a grown up, living in a big wild world without any arms or weapons to use for war (not that I’m excited if there will be one, but hey you get the point), as of now I don’t really how I should react in everything that is going around me, my own bi-polar mood swings, the continuous feeling of being lonely and left alone, my rants about not being able to do what I want when in the first place I don’t even know what I want, maybe I need a little time to myself, to think, to just sleep and go somewhere far, if only life would allow me to soul search on my own… oh well so much for soul searching, now that I’m living a different life a little more healthier, more exercise, taking care of myself more, embracing my body, and my almost impossible mission to be a Ms. Earth contestant (haha!), I’ve come to a pact with myself inspired by the movie “New Year’s Day” that I will make a list that is someone like a resolution or a bucket list… that I will do before I turn 22 which for me is the age that I really feel a super adult, an age exiting from all the freedom of more than legal…
…i wanna be wasted in places ive never been to
…I wanna be with random people…strangers per se
…I wanna be wild, free…
But for now, ill keep on scribbling my never ending “getting wasted: 21” list…
(p.s - still no celebration for my main birthDATE tom :( )
still waiting,
N
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